Once upon a time I bought a trailer. It was a good trailer, but despite its best efforts it could not handle the demands I asked of it. We eventually decided to part ways because I knew I could never be faithful in this relationship that left me wanting.
Knowing, I couldn’t entrust this responsibility to just anyone I took it upon myself to design what had been missing in my life. I wanted it all, and I wasn’t willing to compromise. I wanted a completely flat bed 20 feet long, 8 ½ feet wide and I wanted removable sides. I needed pockets for chains, some long loading ramps and a winch to fulfill my dreams. So, I fired up SolidWorks and started down the path to making it a reality.
With nothing but a visions and a stack of metal, I set off on a journey. Was what I wanted even possible? Was I being unrealistic? After all, love is blind and I had a welder.
I entered the dark chambers where the mechanical beast lived. We struck a deal where he would cut my metal in exchange for cutting fluid. While the deal seemed too good to be true, I was not in a position to tempt fate, so I took him on his word and offered to also grease his fittings in an attempt to show my gratitude.
As I looked at the pile of metal before me, I felt great anxiety about the task ahead. However, I was determined and I was not willing to let anything stand in my way.
In a moment of rash decision-making I threw down the metal in whatever way inspired me, completely ignoring tolerances and angles.
As I collected my thoughts, and logic took hold, I decided to look at my prints that would guide me on my journey. Creativity would have to take the back seat as engineering would be my guide.
As rigid and uncompromising as a my 4th grade teacher, the 90° angle clamp was unwilling to bend. However, its wisdom, while simple in concept was pure genius.
I insisted on installing eight-foot ramps that would be hidden under the trailer, however the ramps insisted that I give them the home and love they deserve. I enlisted the capabilities of my plasma cutter to create two holes that would look deep into the soul the trailer. I knew, in doing my part the ramps would always feel secure.
I welded a standard 2 5/16” ball coupler to the front frame members. While I had the greatest of intentions, I would find out later that this positioned the tongue of the trailer too high. I would be forced to sacrifice this attachment point and begrudgingly replace it with an adjustable mount. It did the best it could but ultimately had to accept failure and knew its fate was sealed as I eventually lopped it in half and replaced it with a better coupler. They can’t all be winners.
While I was nowhere close to completion, my journey was starting to take shape. Minutes became hours, and hours to days. I refuse to let my emotions get the best of me and continued the struggle towards the finish line.
With the base structure in place, it was time to run the cross members. In an attempt to keep the trailer light and nimble yet strong like an ox I use 1/16" inch wall box tubing 4” x 2” wide. I placed these on 12 inch centers, and I knew the 12 x 2 planks that would form the bed of the trailer surface would allow the cross members to share the burden that I would asked of them. They would prosper, never bow, and would have the strength of 100 men.
As I put the 2 x 6 by 1/8” wall tubing on the sides of the trailer, I knew the cross members would feel united in their strength.
With the welding of the main structure complete, and the ramp slides in place, I knew there was no going back.
The trailer, now wanting of axles, it was my responsibility to procure such an item. Luckily, I was able to find some 5000 pound torsion axles at auction that made me look like a hero while being a cheap ass.
Axles, positioned in place, with the help of my trusty forklift, we now had the foundation to build a future.
These axles were odd, but they had a character of their own. They were designed for some other application, with some other worldly desire that I did not quite comprehend. I had to mount them at a 45° angle to make them fit properly. They seem bizarre to me but have proven to have fortitude and strength and have never floundered.
These axles were wide, as if trying to reach to the extents of the known world. However, I had different plans and would force them to be narrower to fit within the frame rails I created for them. They eventually decided to submit as I cut 8 inches out of their center, inserted a sleeve and well of them back together. It was a sacrifice they took willingly because they are axles and were incapable of speaking.
Even with the great strength that steel can offer, it will never be able to defeat rust. The fierce iron moths are relentless and uncompromising. We decided that a heavy coat of paint was only way to secure the kingdom.
As we were now well into our journey, it was painfully clear that the trailer needed to be wired. Given its length, and width, this meant three lights along each side and 3 across the back with electric brakes on all four hubs. This also meant a battery had to be installed for an emergency braking system. This may be a bit much for some people to handle but it was a necessary task that cannot be ignored.
A mighty hole saw had to be awoken from its slumber to carve out a home for the LED lights.
A lowly single axle trailer was asked to step into the shoes of giants to deliver the 2 x 12 planking that would provide the supporting structure required.
A little bit lost and bewildered, the boards quickly discovered their purpose in life and were ready to be assimilated into their responsibilities.
With a new coat of armor that only bedliner can provide, the boards have the confidence they needed for any battle they would see. With the lights in place and the reflective tape glimmering, the trailer made a statement that could clearly be seen.
With the paint now dry, and the boards comfortable in their home, they were unexpectedly frightened as they were screwed to the frame. After dealing with the pain and fear, they accepted the new unity that they now experienced with the steel cross members.
Unexpected to the trailer, it was soon adorned with a new steel cage as if a crown had been placed on its head. A young prince has just taken the throne.
As if not completely ready to commit to the bondage of its new cage, it swung open its rear door to show its independence and rebellion.
Before anything could get away and become unruly, all at sides were pinned together in a sign of unity.
With the trailer secure, but the sides lacking paint, they were uniformly stacked and coated with a majestic gloss black.
Proud enough to stand on their own, the sides finished their drying against the fence for all to see.
Back in place, as if they had never left, the kingdom was once again whole.
Fitted with a new set of tires it was ready to conquer foreign lands.
Mounted with a winch, sporting and uncompromising steel cable, it was ready to battle against those not willing to come aboard.
As time went on, and the battles were heavy, it turned out that the 15 inch wheels were just not up to the task. After a blowout, it became apparent that the larger 16 inch wheels with heavier-duty tires would be a burden that the trailer would have to willfully accommodate. Unfortunately, the trailer was never trained for these heavier tasks and the frame rails and bed had to be modified to make this possible.
As a reward for its perseverance it was decorated with a piece of diamond plate, which will forever immortalize its efforts.
As months turned into years and the battles became great the trailer became the champion that could always be depended upon. After thousands of miles it has learned to love it servitude and become the trailer I have always wanted.
